The Wreck

So, on Saturday, around 2:00 am, we were on our way back from aFriday game in Lancaster and were struck my a drunk driver. I was driving with anivair, and three friends in the back seat.

I saw the car in front of me swerve through the green light, as if there were something in the road, and so with my focus on the road in front of me, were struck on my driver's side by the drunk driver, who had run the red light. I've been told that your life flashes before your eyes in situations like this. But in the instant that I heard "He's gonna hit us" to the moment of impact, it truly slowed down.

In my realization of his lights, I was certain they had hit my side and the driver's back seat door. And despite the slowness of the moment, the hyper-realization, I only really had time to think one thing. "That's it, P and I are dead..."

In the moments following the impact, I was only slightly aware that the driver backed out into the intersection and sped off into the night. The people in the car jumped out as they saw him taking off, but I had to rest my head and evaluate how bad I was hurt. I had hit my knees on the underside of the dash and when I hit, it was like an explosion had gone off in my left knee.

But, I was alive.

anivair and one of the passengers were okay, but there were three of us who had gotten a little banged up. We called 911 and found that our hit and run driver had left something rather important behind. His front bumper complete with his front license plate. By the time that the ambulance and police arrived, I was pumped pretty full of adrenaline and so I shooed away the medics. By the end of two hours, we had a tow company get my poor sad car, my insurance had been called and they caught the man several blocks away, having nearly hit several other cars, but ended up passing out on the side of the road.

All told...it has been a hellish experience with doctors and insurance companies...and not to mention something not awesome with my knee, as of yet to be determined.

But I am alive. And my husband and friends are alive...

And I am so grateful!!!
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It's been a very very long time since I've checked out lj. I assumed most people had moved almost entirely to FB or G+.

Looks like there are still folks here and I wonder if I should pick back up with my lj here.

Anyone still on this thing regularly and care about the minutia of my life?"
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Wedding Drama-o-Rama

Now that the holidays are past, I have to really start focusing on wedding details.

Don't get me wrong, I WANT to be married and formalize our family, but the act of gathering family for the actual service is making me insane.

After all the pagan wedding drama with my mom...we were finally making headway in our relationship and understanding of one another.

And that brings us to last night.

Where she has changed her mind and decided that she is going to have no part in a wedding my father is attending/participating in.

Just when I thought she'd let me have one fucking day where my family can pretend I'm more important than shit that happened 20 years ago.

I'm not going to answer her calls or rush to help her make stuff for people. Unlike me at age 22, Getting her approval is no longer my only desire for my life.

She's invited, she's been asked and encouraged to participate...if she chooses not to, it's her choice, not mine.
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Man, it's longer and longer between

posts here.

I've been busy with more sibling wedding stuff and then two weeks of illness.

Frankly, I'm wondering if lj is just losing it's luster for me. I've been trying to jump back into WW and my dedicant program work, but I also felt moved to do a "walk with the Olympians". I felt like it was a good way to really get to know the Olympians and share my experiences with the Hellenic Kin. It has been keeping me pretty busy. But I'm really glad to do it.

But I've noticed I blog less and less. I post things on facebook and twitter, with the occasional post to my personal blog, but really, it's like I just haven't felt like blogging.

It ebbs and flows I've noticed. But there is news for those who haven't heard. I was reluctant to post it here, since most of the people in our lives with regularity are either on my fb or Twitter feed, but it's worth mentioning.

anivair asked me to marry him. And while I hate the institution of marriage insofar as govt. benefits, social politics and government enforcement of unequal rights where marriage is concerned...I said yes.

He really is a partner, in every sense of the word. He challenges me when I'm being difficult and unreasonable, he supports me when I need it and doesn't mind too much when I blow up at dishes in the sink. We have shared our faith and he is really great about my personal exploration. So I can't think of a better soul to share with in this crazy life.

In short, life just got a little wackier as we try to balance our desires for a meaningful service to honor our love for one another vs. public expectations.

(everyone says don't worry about other people's expectations...but if you care about humans at all, it's almost impossible to not worry about displeasing someone...we just want in the end for a nice celebration that makes everyone there feel welcome and as blessed as we do.)

Anyways, I hope other folks still out there in lj-land are doing well and that I will hear from folks about your summers! I really do wish everyone out there the best and I hope everyone can find something in your lives that has grown from unhappiness to make your life better in the long run.

peace out...
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The last week....

has been kicking my ass.

It seems via lj and facebook that a lot of people are experiencing a similar mood altering state of depression or anxiety.

I know, in my rational brain, that life is pretty good. That people dig me. That's I'm a pretty okay person all in all. But DAMN I feel like shit this week.

Who else out there is in a funk?
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Dublin Irish Festival

Since I am still pretty overwhelmed by the experience, I will just direct you to anivair's post here.

He said it so much better than I ever could anyways.

I'm glad he didn't let me chicken out. I couldn't stop smiling the whole ritual...just seeing so many people there smiling, some with children sitting in their laps, some flowing out onto the lawn surrounding the tent.

It was just amazing. I'm moved to tears every time I think about it. This is the legacy I wanted so badly to be a part of. And the Cranes are certainly creating a legacy for modern druidry. I am honored to have been part of that.
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with one simple sentance

Per my lj entry a few weeks ago, I wrote about the humming vibrational feeling I get when I'm doing work that makes me happy.

I think a lot of my recent personal dissatisfaction stems from not focusing on the work I enjoy doing and feel is my purpose (for lack of a less cliched word). And after thinking a lot about it last night, I really feel like I am out of vibration with the work I promised Brigid I'd do. So this morning, I said a simple prayer to the kindred. "Help me get back to my path."

By the time I made it to work, a new song was born in my head. It's a simple campfire song that I think can be used to teach kids about the virtues. I sent it to athenamsb and anivair and hopefully the bard can make it into something interesting.

It's not mind-bogglingly amazing, but I am really inspired.

Sometimes, just one prayer, simple and earnest is answered obviously and immediately.